When I first realized Trevor and Jaye’s story was going to play out over the holiday season, I was leery of what I call “the Rockwell Effect.” That is, I was very much afraid I’d end up with some postcard-perfect family scene that was a total contradiction to the emotionally volatile situation these two characters were in.
But, as usual with my characters, Trevor and Jaye came through for me. Even little Jordan added that special, bittersweet moment of the hope of Christmas magic and the uncertainty of a child whose world is far from decided. And the scene that followed left me holding my breath in awe of this character (Trevor) I watched come to life from the first time he appeared on the page, in IN HER NAME.
“Christmas Shadows”: Excerpted from Project Prometheus: SHADOW WALKER —
Left alone in the empty family room, still surrounded by the scents and sights of the home he should have had all along, Trevor stared sightlessly at the dancing lights of Jaye’s Christmas tree until the image blurred before his eyes. He’d thought he could put things right, that if he cared enough, and paid enough, he could wipe out the debt he had, and start over. Have a real chance.
But the frightened little voice now echoing in his ears, and the worried frown that didn’t belong on a nine-year-old’s face, haunted him. Jordan’s love was immediate and unconditional. But the boy’s trust was another matter, and in that Trevor saw himself again, a twelve-year-old boy faced with his father’s absence, and his mother’s distance as she lost herself in a bottle. Had he ever really forgiven either of them?
The answer was a resounding No. He’d pitied his mother, but he still couldn’t forgive her for choosing alcohol over her children. Even after his own bout with that demon, he couldn’t let go of the pain. And Jerome’s chronic selfishness – bitterness and rage stirred in Trevor’s chest. The man abandoned them. Disappeared. And now Trevor managed to prove himself as unreliable as either parent.
The disgust he felt for himself shook Trevor to the core. He’d hurt Jaye and Jordan in ways he couldn’t erase. There was no clean slate, and he was a fool to think there could ever be one. He would spend the rest of his life earning Jordan’s trust, and probably still fail in the end. But Jaye – Jaye’s fears, he could set right. She was afraid he blamed her for Somalia. She thought she wasn’t worthy of him. The mere thought caught in his throat. As if he was such a great catch.
With a resigned sigh, Trevor levered himself up from the sofa and turned off the Christmas lights, plunging the room into near-darkness. How appropriate. He lived in shadow, chained far away from the light. But if he was very lucky, tonight he might just win a reprieve.